How Migration Deepened my Faith

To deepen my faith, God told me to step outside my comfort zone: 8,000 miles away from it.

Want to have deeper faith? Try migrating to a foreign country eight thousand miles away from home.

I prayed to the Lord to deepen my faith, so about two years ago, He called me and my family to pack our bags and migrate to the United States of America. I tried as much as I can to assuage my fears of starting anew in a far, foreign country. Even if I’ve been coming to the US as a kid, migration is a completely different ballgame and living there consisted of a whole new set of rules. No more yayas and helpers to do my chores for me. No more parents having to shoulder every expense at home. No more random hangouts with familiar friends who I’ve grown to love and appreciate.

The Honeymoon Phase

My first three months as an immigrant were blissful. Together with my grandma (Dad’s mom), I came right in time for Thanksgiving, my first of many. Less than a month later, one of my many cousins got married at Diamond Bar so along with the wedding came a slew of other fun activities: bridal showers, lettering her aisle signages, gown fittings, and out-of-town trips with our extended families. It was also during my second and third months where I was exposed to my first job interview at a lone attic-cleaning office right at the heart of San Fernando valley. Thank God He opened a door for me to work at an advertising agency where I currently work. Life moved in freeway speed (60 mph) and I enjoyed the ride.

Then as soon as I started working and my to-do list became even more routine and ordinary, the honeymoon phase ended.

Moving From Known to Unknown

Two months into my job, I worked until 11 PM to meet deadlines and manage the workload. I expected the overtime having been exposed to advertising from a young age, but it was the feeling of not being sure if what I’m doing is right, or how I should respond if I made any mistake, that weighed me down. As I was new to the company, I couldn’t seek solace among my co-workers, so when I went home I poured out my heart to the Lord. During those times, I lived with my one of my many aunts (one of Mom’s sisters) as my parents and brothers returned to Manila. Although I told myself that I should be grateful that I had relatives who loved me, I couldn’t help feeling lonely. When my mom and I talked via Viber, I held back the tears for fear of my tita (aunt) seeing my fragility. I felt like I was in my freshman year of college where I knew no one and felt alone in a big pond full of stronger, tougher fish. I recall praying: “Lord, I don’t know what to do but my eyes are on you.”

As I continued working, I slowly learned how to process my emotions and stress when the pressure mounted. By God’s grace, I was evaluated and kept my job! I opened up more of my heart and mind to my teammates and gained their trust. I became more acquainted with how things worked, yet by all means remained an amateur and hungered to learn. The Lord built my confidence in Him as I gained more knowledge and experience, yet there was so much more to learn in another space: my local church.

When I first attended CCF LA, I thought it would be easier to adjust because majority of the worshippers were Filipino, not to mention their worship style was similar to CCF back in Manila. In some ways it was easier to adjust, but in the most important aspect of church life, i.e., in loving and serving fellow believers, it was (and still is) a struggle. I became someone I never got to experience back in Manila: a first-timer, that girl who attends Sunday service and wants to be part of a group but isn’t. My cousin, Deb, who migrated a year earlier than I did introduced me to her discipleship group and friends. I appreciated her effort in bringing me to her gigs and events even if I mostly just talked to her. Once again, the Lord pushed me to step outside of my comfort zone by sincerely and genuinely getting to know new people who happened to be brothers and sisters in Christ. Today, although my relationships with many of them are still works in progress, I can say that God is teaching me to love in ways I’ve never loved before.

The past two years as an immigrant were nothing short of boring–if any, they were years of what I’d like to call “introduction to more fruit.” In John 15, the Lord Jesus called Himself the Vine and His beloved church as the branches. He desires to see His bride bear fruit, to bear more fruit, and as if it cannot go any level higher: much fruit. God has been working in and through my life all these years since childhood, but He placed me in a whole new level of faith that would take some time to learn. Back in the Philippines, there were some ways of doing things that were quite predictable, like working and daily routines; they were so familiar and systematized, you needed only to follow a certain steps and success follows. Even if life threw a curve ball, that was somehow predicted so you would know how to respond. But when I started living in the United States, I encountered new challenges and unfamiliar practices that made me uncomfortable, fearful, and lonely. Back in the Philippines, it was easier for me to be diligent even if I felt a strong urge to be lazy because people were watching, the weather was warm (not ideal for lying around), and again, I already knew what to do most of the time. I didn’t realize how moody I can be and how easy it is to justify laziness: “I deserve to watch Netflix all day because I’m sooo tired from work this week.” Whenever I applied that reasoning, I soon realized that I failed because unlike in Manila, I had no helper to cook me lunch or dinner when I did not feel like cooking. The place dictated new rules, and I was not willing to submit.

The unpredictability of life unsettled me. At times I expressed my annoyance by binge-watching, bing-eating, and binge-spending. Not therapeutic at all. My intimacy with the Lord grew cold as my quiet time became quieter–that is, I was either falling asleep or prioritizing Instagram over my Bible. Not helpful either. I became a fool. What person in their right mind would, if their tooth ached, continue eating candy instead of visiting a dentist? Thankfully, my Physician took the initiative. He placed a discomfort in my heart that made me seek Him. Today, by His grace, I’ve never been more closer to Him.

A lot of the learning in the past two years happened as I unlearned my former ways, some of which weren’t sinful but were not effective for deeper faith. Through it all–the unpredictability of life, my moodiness and foolishness–God is gracious. He is patient and kind, yet in His wisdom He disciplines His legitimate children (Hebrews 12:5-8). Many instances I behaved like an Israelite fresh off the camel who complained to the LORD and wished she was back in Egypt (aka the comfort zone). God showed me through His Word how He trains His best soldiers by moving them from a comfort zone, to a discipline zone, and eventually to a pleasure zone. As I reflected on the greatest characters in the Bible, most of them were immigrants: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Ruth, Paul, even the Lord Jesus Himself. Imagine Him migrating from Heaven to earth–surely it was worse than moving from a first-world country to a third-world country. Jesus moved from a holy, loving and sinless place to a dark, evil, and wretched territory! He, too, experienced feeling out of place and endured loneliness. He, too, had to “unlearn” His ways of doing back in Heaven because earth was a completely different place with a whole new set of rules. He used to be served by angels, but on earth He served men.

Faith in the God Who Knows

As I reflect on God’s hand at work in me the past two years, I experience His promise in Psalm 32:8: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” I see how He humbles my mind to trust and believe His Word, not merely on experience and established habits. Surely, habits are necessary and helpful for growth, but when my Father deems it best to replace an old habit with something better, He would do so even if I find it uncomfortable or unsettling. Pruning and discipline are part and parcel of Christlike discipleship (John 15:1-2). Sometimes that would mean moving to a foreign place where life is lived differently so that you would realize (as I do) that it’s not the place or the circumstances that dictate your success, but God Himself. When God moves you into the unknown, chances are He will make Himself known to you afresh so you may realize that indeed life is made through and for Him (Colossians 1:16). To my fellow earthly immigrants and sojourners, let us deepen our faith and fight the good fight by fixing our eyes on the God we know–the good and gracious God Who loves, guides us, and will never leave us.

The Host is Yet to Come

Last Sunday (Easter Sunday) and today were amazing. God gave me the privilege of doing one of the things I love the most: hosting or emceeing.

Last Saturday evening, I received a text message from my cousin, Miko, asking me if I can host an event on Easter Sunday, 4 pm. Immediately, I thought of the event  called Hymns Of Glory, an Easter Sunday concert at the Venice Piazza in McKinley Hill, where our other cousin, Deb, will perform as a singer. However, that event (to me at least) was “major” in the sense that it wasn’t held in church nor was it only for church members: it was held in a public place where many people can watch. Since the event was free, virtually anyone and everyone (so long as the place can accommodate it) can watch. I told myself, “Nah, it’s probably not it. Maybe it’s another event.”

So when I got the message, I replied: “What event?”

Two minutes later, Miko replied: “Hymns of Glory. Deb’s event? 🙂 call time is 3 PM in Venice Piazza.” (those were the exact words. Just copied them from my phone)

To say that I was excited would be an understatement. I ran upstairs to the master’s bedroom and told my Mom about it (Dad was asleep so he wasn’t able to join in the fun). I asked her if I could host (i.e., asked her to bring me to the venue and support us hehe), and she said yes. I immediately asked Miko the details of the event, and later that evening, I received the program via email from the event coordinator, Jamie.

Come Sunday, I was super excited. And nervous. I prayed really hard that God will calm my nerves so as not to trigger a dystonia attack. Praise God for calming nerves! 🙂 By God’s grace, even with limited practice, Miko and I performed and hosted to the best of our ability and, I must say, to our heart’s content. Moreover, I enjoyed the music played that night! Hymns of Glory was an Easter Sunday Concert launched by Megaworld Lifestyle Malls and Christ Commission Fellowship (CCF) Makati to celebrate the resurrection of our Saviour Jesus Christ through praise and worship, as “led” by really talented and Spirit-filled local Christian artists such as Jeff Lucas, Doki Puno, Deb Victa, and Barbie Almalbis!! 🙂 To listen to good music in a concert as an audience member is fun and encouraging in itself. To listen to good music in a concert as a host of that same concert is another story. I’ll share my experience in a bit; let’s take a quick break as you check the photos while I…chill. Haha 😀






with THE Barbie Almalbis! #fangirl
with THE Barbie Almalbis! #fangirl
with the cousins, Deb & Miko
with the cousins, Deb & Miko

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all photos taken by my awesome father, Ferdie Talam! 🙂 

Hymns of Glory was the cherry on top of my very restful holy week even though I “worked” that Sunday. Although it was physically draining, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually the event was not exhausting at all because it was ministry: the outflow of my intimate relationship with God. Hosting was also my passion as part of my mission to be a communicator of truth. (That’s actually written in my mission statement, which I can share with you guys in another time) If Jesus did not rise from the grave, that event, Easter Sunday, and life in general would not have been possible. Praise God He is alive!

This morning until the afternoon, God gave me yet another opportunity to hone my hosting or emceeing skill. ELEVATE, the youth ministry of my home church, invited its hosts and other potential hosts for a 1-day training with a renowned local host who also happened to attend and serve in our church, Judah Paolo. I’ve been to several hosting training sessions before in and out of church, but so far, the one I’ve attended today was the best.

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Processed with VSCOcam with m3 preset

First of all, Judah Paolo was an amazing teacher, lecturer, and mentor. Speaking from 11 years (and counting) of experience in show business and in the church setting, he knows what he’s talking about, lives it daily, and makes a living out of it! (Next to serving God, that for me is the best way to maximize one’s hosting/emceeing skills) He engaged us without trying too hard while imparting and embedding truths in our hearts and minds. I really liked his insight on how to deal with fear. But before he shared that, he told us that, according to a survey, public speaking is a person’s no. 1 fear, while death follows in 2nd place. Imagine that! “In a funeral service, people would rather be inside the casket than give the eulogy.”

Fear and nervousness are natural responses to the foreseen fear of messing things up, stuttering, going blank, or being lame. It’s either you flee the scene or fight the fear. Fight is the better option, especially if you’re a Christian because (and here’s Judah’s insight), as Hebrews 10:19-22 says:

“Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us… let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”

“If you can come before God with boldness, how much more man?” Judah said. David also wrote on the same line: “The Lord is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6) 

That insight on fear was just one of the many things I learned from today’s training. However, personally, when it comes to hosting or being an m.c. (a messenger of Christ as Judah put it), the one thing I always keep to mind, as hard as it may be, is this: the show is not about me. I point to the main attraction.

I’m human just like the rest of you guys, and I struggle. A lot. (Hence, a blog on grace) One of the things I struggle with is pride and self-centeredness. I want to be known. A part of me desires people to applaud at my awesomeness even if I don’t have it (at least in the measure I want). A part of me likes seeing my name etched on everyone’s minds (or at least a lot of people). I only said  a part of me because, just like a lot of people, I don’t want the “perks” or the responsibilities that go with it. I don’t like my privacy invaded. There are days (and they are many) when I want to be alone and I can’t do that when people hound me (that is, if I’m a celebrity). It’s weird, right? I’m weird! I thank God because He loves and likes weird people like me. I also thank Him for not giving up on me just because I’m proud and self-centered (because He opposes the proud, James 4:6 says). Lately I’ve been hearing from Him from one of the Gospels, which talks about the world’s (or at least the Bible’s) first ever host or m.c.  Can you guess his name?

Clue: the book I’m studying now is the book of John.


John the Baptist.

The evidences are clearly laid out in chapter 1. John the Beloved (the author of the Gospel, the “disciple whom Jesus loved”) is described as the witness sent by God to testify about Jesus, to prepare the way for Jesus, to point others (particularly Israelites) to Jesus.

Isn’t that what hosts do?

As hosts, we don’t ramble to the audience about ourselves, although we may share some things about ourselves just like John kept telling folks he wasn’t the Messiah or the Prophet. We guide the audience, the recipient of the message, as they receive the message of the main attraction, whether an artist,  keynote speaker, or even a video presentation. The show is not about us. How would you feel if you invited an m.c. to host your birthday party, and then after introducing you suddenly shouts out, “Oh by the way, my birthday was on January 3rd, three weeks ago. Happy birthday to me!” How would you feel? I would have fired that m.c. on the spot! M.c.’s are supposed to lead you to a better experience of the event, not of themselves.

As I reflected more on this while recalling Sunday’s event and today’s training, I realized that the art of hosting is a humbling event. For people like me who sometimes crave for attention, it’s quite disappointing to find out that even if you’re given so much airtime, there’s still an 80% chance people will forget about you after the event (unless you’re Ryan Seacrest whom I remember more than the American Idol grand champion). More than that, I think the most humbling thing about hosting (which I find to be the most beautiful thing about it), especially in the church setting, is that Jesus gets all the glory. When people come up to me and compliment me after a hosting gig, I smile and revert the glory back to Jesus. When people say they look up to me, I think to myself, “Wait what, me?! I’m not even a pro! Wow, thank you! Thank You!! This voice is Yours.” God gave me a voice not only to express my views or opinions, but more importantly, to voice out His views and His will for man. I am, quite literally, God’s mouthpiece.

Earlier I mentioned Judah’s revised the definition of the abbreviation m.c. (which really means master of ceremonies) to messenger of Christ. Personally, I think this applies not only to actual hosts, but to any person who has the brand marks of Jesus, who is His legit child and servant. You are a host, leading and pointing others to Jesus. Like John the Baptist (or John the Witness as I would call him), you can prepare the way for others to meet Jesus. You and I, we’re bridges people will walk over so that they, too, can enjoy a personal encounter with the Lord. When you communicate truth and grace to people, you are, in a sense, an m.c. Of course it’s still different from an actual event host, but hey, that’s still the greatest job in the world! Not only are you enjoying in the present, but you are also investing in eternity.

I hope God will continue to use me as a host, and I’m sure He will as long as I shall live. If you think you’ve got what it takes to be an m.c. and if you feel God is leading you to become one, do whatever it takes to be good at it! Read books. Watch Ryan Seacrest. Practice, practice practice! Practice some more. Speak. Talk. Read a loud. Do your homework!

And never forget: at the end of every gig, revert the glory back to Him who gave you your mouth and your voice. 🙂

P.S. (a.k.a. plug shameless HAHAHA): If you’re looking for someone fun, relational, and engaging to host your birthday party, debut, or what have you, you can hire me ! Hihi 🙂 go to the contact page here