What to wear? What to wear? What to wear?!?!
This question haunted me, reminding me of the fleeting seconds and minutes, as I stood in front of my opened closet, still deciding what to wear. I’m one of those girls whose wardrobe is somewhere between plain Jane and Jane Aldridge of Sea of Shoes. I am also one of those people who thinks about his or her outfit before going to bed so as to avoid wearing the same top and bottom as last week. I plan carefully, but not to the point of being OC.
Okay, maybe a little.
Anyway, for some reason, I discarded my plan Friday night because I felt the heat seep through my skin’s pores Saturday morning; my outfit in mind would make me sweat like a hog. After three minutes or so of choosing, wearing, rejecting different outfits, I finally chose the “perfect” outfit: a loose blue-and-yellow blouse, thin, brown leggings, and brown-gold sandals. To complete the outfit, I borrowed my Mom’s brown Longchamp bag (oh wait the sandals are hers too). Pleased with my look, I rushed outside to say goodbye to my parents and ask my Dad for the remaining balance of my allowance.
Dad, Mom, and my uncle who just arrived from the US were having breakfast when I approached them so I hurriedly kissed Mom & Dad goodbye. As I was walking to the door, I stopped short in front of the master’s bedroom which had a tinted sliding door and looked at my reflection. You look pretty. Okay now leave. My brain programmed Feet to brisk walk alternately–that was, until the command was interrupted by my Mom’s exclamation:
“Shi! Look at Jenny’s blouse! It’s too short!”
*by the way, Shi or Suishi is my parents’ term of endearment for each other. Carry on.
Immediately Dad shifted his attention to my midsection all the way until the bottom, then looked at me knowingly. Before he could even comment about my blouse, I filled in. “But the blouse is long naman. Is this short?”
Dad, as he always did, commanded me sternly: “Jenny, change that. Wear jeans. Or change your blouse. The blouse is not that long and that (pointing to the leggings) is too tight. Remember, you’re commuting.” (Commuting simply means I shall travel via public transportation. That means I get to sit beside and travel with people I don’t know…men I don’t know.)
I seriously wanted to blurt out a “Thanks a lot, Mom” right there and then but my uncle was there. Actually, even if he wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have done it because I would immediately be reprimanded, and worse, forbidden to attend to any of my plans for that day. Once more I tried to defend my “perfect” outfit, but my Dad was not to be moved.
I returned to my room and shut the door behind me. I re-evaluated my outfit. It wasn’t kinky or showing too much skin–not a bit. In fact, my legs were concealed and my chest was covered completely (there was nothing to show off anyway; I have a surfboard with me). He should visit our youth group one time and see the girls there wear shorts. Now I have nothing against shorts, but I don’t wear shorts to church. I reasoned, “If other girls could wear shorts and still not look bitchy, then surely I could wear leggings–clothes that completely cover my legs!” No matter how many reasons I can come up with to show how unreasonable my parents were being, however, I still changed my outfit. I still wore leggings (I already wore jeans last week), but my top was obviously longer and had longer sleeves. If he tells me to change again,
table flipping like a boss
Thankfully, my outfit was approved.
But because I hardened my heart and valued pride over honoring my parents, I left out house resentful and pissed that I didn’t get to wear what I wanted to wear. My past bratinella took over, and I submitted to her constricting regime (at least for several minutes).
Why am I sharing to you this incident? There are a few reasons actually. This is enough proof to show that preaching “Honor your Dad and Mom” to Sunday school kids is wasted unless you actually honor Dad and Mom whether you feel like it or not. I knew God was testing me, and initially, I failed.
As I processed my emotions on the road, I humbled myself so that I can hear what God had to say. What was wrong with me, God? Was it pride? Oh you bet it was! But my problem, my sin, ran deeper than pride. (Not that pride is bad enough, but it wasn’t all pride)
Who were you trying to honor when you chose that outfit?
I wanted to shut my ears to that question, but I knew God wanted a reply.
“Um, the people in church, I guess.”
Before my outfit outrage, I had my quiet time and I read the following passage from Proverbs 3:9:
“Honor the LORD with your possessions, and with the firstfruits of all your increase.”
I wrote that verse on my journal, word per word, and below it, I wrote a practical way to apply this verse. Guess what I wrote: Dress modestly.
Now don’t get me wrong: my outfit was not immodest, but it was not modesty at its best. I suppose if I wore that outfit during a family reunion, my Dad would have permitted me because he was there to watch me and I was with my close family members, not mere acquaintances. As I slowly allowed God to take my pride down, I saw where my Dad was coming from. That moment when I incorrectly justified my “right” made me doubt his goodness.
Three lessons I learned from “outrage,” and I hope you would too, especially if you’re an adolescent female:
- Honor your Dad & Mom even if you don’t feel like it. The long, full life that God promised (see Ephesians 6:1-2) is a daily experience. A lot of people live long lives, but unfortunately, they are full of misery and pain. Why? Well probably, along the way, they dishonored their parents (or standing parents), and that mistake brought with it grave consequences. Don’t wait until you suffer the consequences of disobedience & dishonor.
- Learning a Biblical command means you will most likely be tested in that area. Was it coincidental that I was tested on honoring GOD with my body? I think not. Although I failed the test initially, because I humbled myself, God honored my humility and “passed me” with flying colors. Thanks, Papa. 🙂
- Dress to impress your Creator, not your fellow creature. While this may not apply when you’re joining a fashion face-off or a beauty pageant, it applies to your everyday dressing. This lesson actually goes deeper than external appearance; it deals with heart issues. Girls and boys, when choosing an outfit especially if you know your Christian brothers and sisters will be present, ask yourself these questions:
- Is my blouse too tight? How about my jeans/leggings/skirt/shorts? (for ladies) when I bend, are my breasts showing? (cleavage as well)
- Will I be able to show myself confidently to my parents and get their approval? If I’m not as confident, what is the reason behind this?
- Am I wearing this to honor my Creator or my fellow creature?